Wednesday, August 13, 2008


I want to write a poem but I don't know how.
I've never held a pen let alone formed a thought in my head.
I'm supposed to tell you how I love you
But I don't know how to feel it let alone say it.

Maybe it's because I just can't be.

I'm a drifter, I'm a nomad, 
I do not know my heart and I cannot be tamed.

I cannot keep it simple, I walk in contradictions 
and I am laced with chaos. 

So naturally, as anything I do, 
this is feeling forced.
I don't even know where I fall into 
a beginning or a middle or an end.

I want to see you all day long and when you're finally here 
I think about all that is not 
and how I should be repaid for my 
incessant worry that you'll never know.

I think how I saved your life one week ago today 
literally, physically, I held onto you, 
wrapped you in my arms as best I could 
as you lost consciousness and almost all breath.

I stayed by your side 
and still I stay 
I don't know what to do with this.
I still cannot process you.
It's 2:34 in the morning.  You are here.
But all I can do is sit and wait 
and jump at every breath 
and watch you sleep.


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